— July 12, 2024

Do you dread baking with your little ones? I have been there! I have learned a few things over the years and have gone from purposefully choosing to make something when they are busy playing outside to calling for them, “come help momma in the kitchen!”

Each season of life will change how you need to approach baking in the kitchen with your child. If you are a Mom trying to bake with a young toddler or have three children all six and under, it is going to look different. What is important is that we tailor it to our family’s needs (that includes you!), plan ahead, and set the expectations firmly.

Here are my top tips for cutting down on the stress and finding joy again in the kitchen. 

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Consider your day and your children.

The most optimal time to be in the kitchen.

Choose an optimal time of day to gather everyone in the kitchen. When is your child rambunctious, grumpy, or temperamental? When is your child happy, easy going, or quiet? Schedule kitchen time based on your family’s normal habits and routine. Additionally, if you have multiple children. Consider planning kitchen time for when the youngest is down for their nap.

Planned spontaneity can work best for the kitchen. 

Another option is to do what I call “planned spontaneity.”  As long as you have everything prepared in advance then at the drop of a hat you can begin baking. The key here is that you must be willing to be spontaneous and drop a task. On a planned spontaneity day I might be sure to do tasks I do not mind stopping in the middle of. Also, I make sure the kitchen is tidy and surfaces are clear throughout the day. At least until the kitchen time is complete.

Either option usually follows time playing hard outside. Everyone rests indoors and maybe eats a light snack. Then, the focus on baking naturally occurs during the next wave of energy.

Prepare in advance.

Whether you have a set time you plan to bake or you are going with the flow, having everything ready is important. Before calling them into the kitchen, prep things that are not easy to do with them. Like melt the butter, open canned goods, chop fruit, and gather everything to one location. Each age and season of life will require this stage to look a little different.

For very little ones, under three, I recommend having everything within arm’s reach, even measured out if possible. Running to the pantry is not a viable option unless you take the little one with you. The only caveat I have is that if your back is turned and there is an older sibling who can sound the alarm when the toddler steps out of line.

Another benefit, though, is that having everything measured and ready to place in the mixing bowl reduces the amount of time spent in the kitchen. Meaning, less time for you or your child to become frustrated. Little ones will only handle a few “no” answers before becoming upset. Read on to see ways to keep “no” answers to a minimum.

As your child grows you will find they are able to help more with the measuring and not just pouring. Until they are helping to bring items from the pantry, their patience is long enough that they won’t eat the batter if you look away, or you can even send them to the pantry to bring back a forgotten item.

Quick tips for the kitchen.

• Have a designated counter space for used and dirty dishes away from the work area .
• Keep a rag handy for spills and messes.
• If you have 2 helpers, double the recipe if you are able. This guarantees each child will get equal share adding ingredients. 

Be firm with clear rules.

Sounds simple but as parents we know it is far from easy. However, in the kitchen it is necessary to keep everyone safe, food sanitary, and keep the peace. I have included mine below to inspire you. 

My rules are as follows: 

1. Momma is head chef and this is her kitchen.
2. Clothing is a requirement for all sous chefs. 
3. Wash your hands before helping.
4. One step stool per sous chef.
5. No eating batter unless the head chef has given permission.
6. Do not touch anything unless told to.
7. Do not add anything unless told to.
8. Three strikes and you’re out. 
9. Leave with joyful hearts. 
10. Fresh starts are given to all who reenter.

Be consistent and firm.

There are times I would prefer to turn a blind eye to my 2 year old sneaking a one finger swipe of batter from the bowl. However, if I have made it clear this is batter we are not to eat I must diligently escort him from the kitchen because that was his third strike.

To make the ordeal of leaving a little easier I give them two options. They can either go to their room and play, or sit at the table and watch us finish. My eldest two usually choose their room. The table is more for my youngest if he is melting down.

Additionally, I want to point out that a strike might warrant a brief time out to the table depending on the severity. A strike that warrants timeout would be if the boys started shoving each other. If it was minor, such as goofing off when stirring, then a simple verbal correction is enough. However, if it happens again then it is a strike. 

Overall, build your approach around your family, but establish clear and well-known rules, adhere to them consistently, and remember that the ultimate consequence for not following the head chef’s rules should be removal from the kitchen.

Now that my eldest two have been following these rules for a while I rarely must dismiss them from the kitchen. The only time it occurs now is usually because they respond to their little brother’s bad behavior poorly. He is 2.5 and instead of napping while we bake I have been allowing him to join us. He is new to consistently being a part of kitchen activities and so he is learning.

Consider yourself.

Usually when talking about welcoming our children into the kitchen all we hear people talk about is how positive it is for the child. It can be but only if you are in a good state of mind. We need to be flexible and self-aware. What can this look like?

Be flexible in the kitchen.

If you are already frustrated from constantly breaking up fights between your children all morning, you can opt not to spend time baking.  This is also why I never promise my children anything. I say things like, “if all goes well tomorrow I would like to make apple muffins with you.” This way, if I have to call everything off I am not going back on my word. Instead I will try to do an activity that is less intensive. For example, spend time outdoors picking flowers or reading books on the couch instead.

Self-awareness is essential when in the kitchen.

I have had baking sessions where by the time we make it to fill up the muffin liners I am exhausted, fed up, or both. Multiple spills of both dry and wet ingredients, fishing out the random paper clip tossed in, spooning out a cup’s worth of salt, back-to-back scolding for hand-shoveling batter into greedy mouths, step stool fighting, “mine, mine, mine!” shouting…the horror stories go on and on. Crazy enough a lot of these have happened all in the same baking session. With three strikes allotted to three different children all six and under, a lot can happen!

Sometimes, by the time we drop cookie batter onto parchment, I am simply done. In this case, I ask my boys to leave politely and gently. I tell them that they were a great help, I appreciate all they have done but now it is time for me to finish up. Once the cookies are complete or muffins have come out of the oven, I will call them back. Awareness of the situation and myself allows us to end on a positive note. 

Yes the boys may grumble but I stay firm to my decision. I give them a specific alternative, such as “go play in your playroom,” or if the weather is nice I will suggest they go outside and ride their tricycles.

You are the head chef.

You determine who is in your kitchen and when and how those little sous chefs are to conduct themselves. Sharing and collaborating does not come naturally to little ones. If you want kitchen time to be a memorable and positive experience for everyone there must be kitchen rules. 

What are your kitchen rules? Share in the comments for others to gather ideas and inspiration for cooking and baking with their little sous chefs.

If you enjoyed this be sure to check out the post about taking kitchen time to the next level, making it magical. Click below for how to turn kitchen time into a magical experience.