Find Boredom

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Why is boredom key to a beautiful childhood?

Boredom is good. I’ll say it again and again. Boredom is what will create healthy children and a beautiful childhood. Here are a few reasons why a beautiful childhood needs bored kids.

Boredom creates healthy and happy kids.

Most people today lead fast-paced and over-stimulating lives. When we detach our children from this lifestyle we free up room for their brain to find boredom. And when one finds boredom they are then able to find creativity, imagination, wonder, curiosity, and reflection. If given this space, a child becomes self-assured and pursues personal interests while solving problems.

Another important aspect to consider is that a child’s brain is developing and in accordance their brain needs certain things at certain times. I think this manifests in four ways. Which of these a child’s brain chooses depends on what the brain is craving in that moment. Is the brain still needing activity or quiet? If the brain is active then we see creativity and curiosity play out. If the brain requires relaxation then wonder and reflection are where your child will end up. But this only occurs if an adult doesn’t solve the problem for them and allows the child to self-regulate.

Boredom allows space for a child to develop naturally.

When a child is presented with boredom, they may pursue a creative outlet. My eldest’s most frequent choice is a craft. Hence the random mounds of cut up construction paper and tape throughout the house. If all my boys are teeming up and feeling creative they like to make forts in our living room. Other ways this could manifest is that your child will take an interest in playing a musical instrument, write stories, and so on.

Curiosity is the other active option for the brain. Maybe the brain wants to answer a question it had from earlier in the day. Or maybe the brain is simply curious what coloring with a marker on the face will look like. I’ll get more into the poor outlets for boredom later.

Another go-to for a child’s brain is to find wonder in the world. Frequently, after my boys have been running and active I will turn around to find them all lounging in the living room, each with a book open. The ages are 7, 5, and 3 by the way. My eldest can read very fluently so his interest in a chapter book does not surprise me. But even my 5 and 3 year old, who are beginner readers, wonder simply at the pictures. This is a wonderful quiet solution to the boredom “issue.”

Lastly, when a child is bored their brain may simply need time to reflect on the day’s events. These moments of processing are most easily spotted when your child is on a swing, performing a repetitive task, or staring into space.

How to embrace a beautiful childhood and find boredom.

Adults can easily sabotage a child from independently resolving their boredom in a healthy and needed way.  I highlight three here to make sure that a child finds boredom and keeps you from interfering. I’m sure there are more ways but the best way to make sure you’re not sabotaging their boredom experience is to ask yourself, “am I or an outside source intervening in some way?”

First, turn off the screens.

Before you will hear the beautiful words, “I’m bored!” you must first create the opportunity for it. The biggest threat to boredom for kids now are screens. Television, movies, and video games truly sabotage a beautiful childhood. But does that mean there isn’t room for them in a beautiful childhood? No! The key aspect here is to limit screen time and establish designated parameters.

For instance, the boys know that they are guaranteed one movie night a week and Saturday morning cartoons. Occasionally, I may need to utilize the tv as a quick babysitter so they will get an additional 30 minutes once or twice a week during the day. However, they do not expect this time at all. Because they do not expect it, it’s a surprise when I offer it and I only offer it because I need it. Not because they have asked or feel a need for it. As a result, they never rely on the screen to solve a moment of boredom.

Overall, turn off the screens. It may be tough at first but it is so worth it for helping your child find boredom and create a beautiful childhood. To help your family kick the screen habit I recommend the book, Digital Detox by Molly DeFrank.

Second, observe from a distance.

Sometimes as a parent we feel the need to swoop in and save a bored child. They’re not doing anything sitting on that swing. Why are they just laying on their bed staring at the ceiling? For some reason we think that a child must be constantly doing something to be learning or growing. This is simply not the case. Their brain needs time for reflection and processing, and these obvious moments of “boredom” look like inactivity.

Observing from a distance doesn’t only mean not interrupting their reverie, but not interrupting their current active pursuit. They solved a boredom “problem,” independently by painting a picture. But it can be discouraging to have brought out all the materials to find out that Mom had other plans.

As a result, I give fair warning if my child will need to leave their current creative pursuit. “Hey Marty, finish that up in 15 minutes, okay? We need to leave for dance class soon.”

Bullying, irritating, and safety.

I also should mention that observing from a distance allows space for you to monitor their behavior. Just because you are letting them solve their boredom doesn’t mean that they will always make a wise choice. Remember curiosity killed the cat. And I’m going to guess that the cat was curious what would happen if he pinched his older brother. Or maybe he was curious if his arms could flap fast enough to fly off the roof.

So observe from a distance, this way you can step in when necessary. Firm guidance and offering alternatives are best. But do not tell them what they’re going to do. Instead provide broad choices and let them choose independently. Such as, go outside, read a book, color a picture. Nothing specific but guide them back to acceptable choices when bored.

Third, answer the correct way to your child saying, “I’m bored!”

 My eldest has brought this up once in his life. I’m not sure where my son heard it because his daddy and I are never bored and never use that word. This is also key, be the example! Do not state that you’re bored in a negative light.

We’re never bored.

But as I said we’re never bored. Daddy works a full time job, I have a burgeoning business, we own a fixer-upper home, we homestead, we homeschool, we’re active in our church, and it seems we’re constantly taking on new projects. “Bored,” is not a part of our vocabulary.

I think this is because as children we both gratefully experienced boredom. As adults we have have healthy responses because our childhood taught us to. My husband and myself are never weary of activity or weary of rest. We appreciate both states as they come. 

But as par for the course after hearing this term used, my son approached me expecting me to do something. “Momma, I’m bored.” His brothers were watching from a distance. I responded with, “good!” and I continued my task. My son looked very confused walking away.

He seals his fate.

Moments later he had regrouped with his brothers and he was sent back to make the proclamation again, “Momma, I’m bored! What can I do?” I said, “boredom is a good thing. You can make a craft, read a book, or go outside. The choice is yours.” He sealed his fate with his next words, “I don’t know what to do. Can we watch tv?” 

“No but if you really want me to resolve this then the floors need to be swept. I’ll get the broom.” Stunned silence ensued as he watched me walk to our pantry. “Never mind momma!” My response, “Oh no, sweetheart. You told me you were bored, I’ve given you a solution. And if your brothers are just as bored as you, I’ll be happy to give them something to do.” I’ve never seen my youngest two make it to the door and outside faster. For the next 10 minutes, my eldest grumbled his way through cleaning our floors. I have never heard of boredom plaguing him, or his brothers, since.

My steps are to first make sure they know I think it is a good thing. Then, I offer healthy and productive alternatives. But when push comes to shove my sons learn quickly that there is always a cure for boredom even if you don’t enjoy it.

A beautiful childhood is just around the corner.

A child’s creativity knows no bounds when they are used to being bored. A stick suddenly becomes a sword, a window seat is now a stage, picture books are friends even before one can read, and art becomes a passion. Many memories and experiences are built off of the back of boredom. 

Don’t deprive your child of this wonderful childhood experience. If you gleaned insight or inspiration from this post, please leave a comment. Then, go make sure the screens are shut off and wait for those beautiful words, “I’m bored.”

For further reading into enriching a child’s childhood I recommend this post, Why a child needs poetry. You’ll also find book suggestions to begin you and your child’s journey into learning to appreciate poems.